


fanfiction title based off florence and the machine song lyrics in all lowercase

by Latia



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Rose Lalonde is too perfect for a 'derp' like John to keep up with, TOTALLY in character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-22
Updated: 2013-07-22
Packaged: 2017-12-21 01:14:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/894063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Latia/pseuds/Latia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ROSE IS TOO SMART FOR JOHN SHE IS PEFRCET AND SNARKY YOU HEARD IT HEAR FORKS</p>
            </blockquote>





	fanfiction title based off florence and the machine song lyrics in all lowercase

"Jonathan. The two of us, as a pair, are currently residing in a amorous relationship," Rose enunciated, her perfect snow-white skin glittering the moonlight.

"uuuuuhhhhh duuhhhhhhh," garbled John.

"Alas! It is no longer befitting for me to facilitate the continued prolongation of this facade!" sighed Rose, flipping her snow-white hair. “The actuality of the situation is that you are literally too stupid to be in a relationship with me!"

"blugh ugh movies."

"Yes! You are literally too stupid, and have never made an insightful observation into the personalities of any of your friends, or were able to single-handedly puzzle out a complex mechanic! The fact that you are occasionally absent-minded and naive immediately negates any and all possession of thought you have ever had!"

":B" said John, somehow.

"As for me, the fact that I utilize gigantic diction and florid language is undeniable proof that I am boundlessly more intelligent than you, as I am perfect and tragic! And need an intellectually stimulating partner that can challenge me and make “proper comebacks to my snark!" Something that Perfect Tragic Eridan and Perfect Tragic David and Perfect Tragic Infalliable Intelligent Perfect Elegant Kanaya CONSTANTLY do and something you have NEVER been able to accomplish!"

"uh duh Nic Cage?"

"Yes Jonathan, it is the truth! I am intelligent and perfect and infallible and have literally never done anything silly or childish like play with a kitten or work a magnet like a mustache! Your friendship means nothing to me at all, and there is not a single way that you would be able to keep up with me or keep me interested! I am a perfect inhumane pale Strilonde robot and I totally look down at you! Despite the fact we are friends. Somehow. ANYWAYS, I am now off to be a perfect snarky witty tragic Sadstuck cash cow. Don’t wait up."

John was unable to respond because he had shoved his face into a blender, because apparently he is totally incapable of functioning without someone holding his hand.

(meanwhile in a better fanfiction somewhere John and Rose put on their beaglepuss and W mustache and read terrible internet porn to each other)

(terrible)


End file.
